What’s it like to feel lost and alone?

As a Christian born and raised in the church…I get frustrated sometimes because simply put, I never knew life without Christ and the feeling of hopelessness and alone-ness that comes from the search for purpose.  I find myself getting jealous sometimes of people who had life changing experiences where they were lost and confused, hopeless and alone and then encountered the love of Christ and now they have a new hope.  They are no longer alone and the weight of the world is lifted and the search for the meaning of life is finally over.  They are a new person…

I find myself feeling depressed about this from time to time as if it were a bad thing!  Ha…what a messed up way of thinking.  Bottom line is that I don’t ever want to feel that emptiness and hopelessness.

However, that being said…sometimes I feel lost in my foundness…

I feel alone in my fellowship.

I feel confused in my clarity.

It’s frustrating.  Downright aggravating at times.  I have nothing to compare my life with Christ to.  I don’t have a before and after, at least not one I can remember!  I just have an after.  Life after Christ.  Sometimes I yearn for the opportunity to feel the pain people without Jesus feel.  I hear the stories, but I can’t relate.  I’ve always been free in Christ.  Although I’ve done stupid stuff and strayed from the path…I’ve never lived a life without Jesus.

I don’t EVER want to live a life without Jesus because with Him I don’t fear death.  I have my purpose, but I want to ask anyone who is reading this…If you lived without Jesus and then encountered Him giving your life to Him…I’d love to hear your story.  I’d love to hear what your life was like without Him and how it’s different now that He pulled you out.  I would love for you to paint me a picture in as much detail as you’d like.

If you are reading this and you don’t know Jesus…I challenge you to give Him a shot.  Check Him out and find out what true love is about.  I am a very very blessed man.  I don’t take my blessings for granted anymore and I know that every blessing I have is by the grace of Jesus.

If you do know Jesus…then share your story about the transformation that took place when you let Jesus into your life.  I know I’d love to hear it and I’m sure others would to.

Blessings to you and yours, and remember…don’t take your blessings for granted.  It can be maddening, but be grateful for all your blessings.

Jeremy

 

Another Level

Jesus has called us all to a higher level.  I believe that more today than I ever have.  I feel it to my core.  I spent a lot of time in the word this weekend listening to a number of different sermons and through all of it…I just hear Christ calling us all to a higher level IN HIM.  I’m challenged as I write this because I know rising to the next level, going deeper with God if you will, wont be easy.  After all, I’ve been developing ME for 30 years now!  With all the distractions, drama and life that get’s in the way, taking up our nets and following Him…well, let’s just say it’s no easy task.

But as I write this, I feel an overwhelming excitement about getting closer to the One who came in all humbleness, in the meekest way possible to live a sin free, blameless life, just to take my place on the cross.  To die for MY sins.

As you read this, I extend the challenge to you.  What are you going to do to rise to the next level with the Risen Christ?  I have no idea what God is doing.  I have no idea what this stirring in my heart means for my future.  All I know is that I feel a warmth…a Love that I’ve always had, but never felt.  I feel a hope and a peace, that I’ve always had, but never felt.  Why all of a sudden do I sense this stirring in the depths of my soul…I can only guess, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it has something to do with answering God’s call on my life.

You see, when I was in high school, I felt God calling me into youth ministry…then I proceeded for about 8 years to ignore it…then I finally broke down when I was between jobs and started a youth ministry and it was during that time that I truly felt like I was right where God wanted me.  Then all of a sudden, my proverbial carpet was yanked out from under me and I lost that ministry.  My flesh could only assume that, “Maybe this wasn’t my calling after all” and I set it aside for another three or so years.

I woke up one day after I had been praying for clarity…and clarity, I had… God quietly reminded me about the feeling I had during my ministry “golden years”, and also pointed out that my professional life had become a pursuit of earthly things and my calling had returned.  I promptly enrolled in Bible College and informed my church leaders I wanted to be a youth pastor.

Since that day…God has become more real to me than ever before.  My prayers have since changed from God help me be successful in business to, “God, break my heart for what breaks yours.  Give me YOUR eyes for just one second.”  My wife now teases me because of these new “soft spots” in my heart that somehow have caused me to become an emotional wreck, but I just blame my baby boy Eli…having a son brings the sacrifice of Jesus into a real bright light.

I hope as you read this, you see yourself listening, waiting for God’s call.  If you’ve heard it, I challenge you to pursue it.  Jesus said “take up your nets and follow me.”  What ever that means to you, I pray that you take up your net and follow Jesus.  I can’t describe this compassion that has been givin to me…I can’t explain the peace I feel…I can just tell you to follow that urging in your heart to be better and to open your heart to a light and love that only Jesus Christ can give you.  Ask God to break your heart for what breaks His…and when you hear Him call…Answer that call.
Blessings,

Jeremy Wilson